Today is our third wedding anniversary. Saying I DO three years ago was definitely the best decision I ever made – at least I thought it was. He-he! Daniel and I have been through a lot. We fought our way through everything. Life slapped me with the harsh reality that marriage is not an easy thing. I’ve actually learned so much in the last 3 years of being married to my best friend. Here are few things I discovered.
1. Marriage is Hard Work, It’s Not All About Romantic Dates and Lots of Sex
I think everyone knows that this is true, but it would only make sense if you experience it. When I got married, I thought it’s a done deal. We know each other well, we love each other, and the rest should be fine. But it’s really not like that. It takes a lot of hard work. We’ve had crazy arguments that gave me random stupid thoughts which include “I want us to break up” moments. But we’ve also had times where we just didn’t stop laughing.
After 3 years of being together, marriage to me is more like a game of love and war. But the more we get to know each other and work hard on our differences, the more we create a beautiful marriage. We still have a long way to go, but with our hard work and commitment, I know we can make it.
2. Spend time to talk, to share, to listen and to understand.
Communication plays a really big part in our relationship. Since we are in a long distance set up, we work on our communication harder than those who are living together. There were times in the past that I just assumed what Daniel was thinking, and that everything was just fine even without talking. But heck, it doesn’t really work that way. You have to speak up what’s on your mind, and to listen and understand what the other has to say.
3. You’ll both mess up, forgive anyway.
Marriage taught me how to give unlimited forgiveness to someone…and to let the anger go before it destroys your marriage. Everyone has issues, and our marriage is no different. It was when I dropped my expectations with Daniel and accept him together with his imperfections and flaws, that I started feeling - actually knowing - that our marriage is truly working out.
4. “I Love You” Can Fix Everything.
Daniel is amazing. I don’t know how he’s able to handle me, but he always does something great during an argument. I am maldita, but Daniel is a cool person who doesn’t like fighting me. Whenever we are arguing, he’d just say, “I love you” right in the middle of my furiousness. I am not sure if he was just randomly saying that or he really meant it, but it works. When he does that, it makes me laugh and I feel good after. That’s probably the secret to our getting-stronger-happy-marriage life.
5. Marriage is definitely not a fairy tale.
I hate to burst some idolized bubble of single dreamers; marriage is not a fairy tale. In real life, marriage is more like a horror or thriller movie – where you keep screaming for your life. Ha-ha! It’s sounds grim, but the suffering is not in vain. It’s the least romantic part of marriage that would teach you about yourself, your partner, and the nature of your love. In the long run, you’d unlock those surprising treasures and pleasures in your imperfect but real-life love story. Then you can look back on your hard-fought story and bask the pleasure of your own happy-ever-after.
For the last 3 years, it’s the hard time that brings Daniel and me closer to each other. The key is to always find the good in your partner, compliment each other and be the biggest fan, respect and cherish each other, maintain your interests and forgive constantly. And don’t forget that thing called unconditional love.
To my every dearest Husband…Happy 3rd Wedding Anniversary. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then my gratefulness to God for leading me to you, my love, is a video. I love you, and thank you for sticking with me through all these years. I know it’s a challenge! Ha-ha! I miss you, and I’ll see you soon! Kisses!